I will be your Valentine
If you will be my concubine
Not that I had much idea of what a valentine was. Maybe a girl wearing a funny white suit with black dots dancing at the End of The Pier show with Pierrot, Harlequin, and Columbine.
And concubine, some sort of lizard?
All a bit puzzling.
And the thought that a girl could get a card through the post from an unknown admirer. Unknown admirer? Most girls have an encyclopaedic knowledge of who fancies who and are certainly not open to any surprises.
There was a Saint Valentine, the Bishop of Terni who, like so many, went on to become a martyr. But he spent most of his time healing epilepsy, not sending postcards to schoolgirls. He was also a famous beekeeper and this, with the epilepsy, must have got up somebody’s nose and led to his being beheaded. He is still a saint, however, as he survived the great purge of the 1960s when 93 holy individuals were unhaloed. He would like it if you dropped by and lit a candle for him on February 14, his special day.
As there were many Saint Valentines around, the love interest might have come from another Saint Valentine who, when about to be executed, wrote to Asterius’s daughter signed "from your Valentine”. We are not sure who Asterius was or why he wanted to murder the poor Saint; it did not do any immediate good, but the tradition took on. Perhaps it was this Saint Valentine, who used to cut hearts from parchment to give to persecuted Christians.
During the Middle Ages, it was believed that birds paired in mid-February. This was then associated with the romance of Valentine. Although the legends differ, Valentine's Day is widely known to be a day for romance and devotion, as well as happy tweeting birds. On Saint Valentine's Day in Dublin, many seekers for true love make a Christian pilgrimage to that historical dating agency, the Shrine of St Valentine in Whitefriar Street, which has the odd relic of Saint Valentine of Rome; you can also fill in a book where foreigners and locals have written their requests for love. They don’t report on their success rate, but a visit to Dublin is always worth it for the architecture.
So, back to your surprise Valentine's card or, horror of horrors, your surprise email. How many other names were on the list? Why did they pick on you? What else do they want?
I lit my own candle more than three decades ago, still burning away.
Martin Tucker, 10 February 2025