“Look, Dad, a cow!” Son, don’t bother me now-        

I’m trying to get through to head office.       

“Just over there-with two udders I swear-“  

Be there soon, two secs I’ll be off it.  

“It’s nice over here in clean Dorset air            

Wish mum could be here to enjoy it...”                     

Hi Carol, still there? –“It’s pawing the ground-“                   

What? Signal is down- damn I’ve lost sound -                       

“Why d’you suppose there’s a ring in its nose?”                  

Don’t pester me son, don’t talk bollocks.                              

“Awfully big with eyes like a pig and-                                                

sounds silly, is that a willy? Daad?”                                         

Christ! Carol-we’re surrounded by bullocks-             

Tell Guy and his contract to stuff it.                                       

“Now look at me son, how fast can you run?                       

Walk’s over – let’s move or we’ll snuff it.”      

---

Helen Griffiths, 1 May 2025